Tumbling Down
by Lirillith
Summary: The Turks, as they wait for Meteor to fall. Now complete
1. Road Trip

A/N: Don't like the title, but I couldn't come up with a better one. Starts right after the party's last confrontation with the Turks. 

**Tumbling Down**

  


Chapter One

  


The phone rang as they were picking their way down to the ground. Reno had it, and he stopped, greeting the caller with a curt "Turks." 

Rude halted and turned back, coming even with their de facto leader. "Yeah. D'you need help getting out?" Reno asked, just as Elena caught up with them. She shot the bald Turk a quizzical glance, and he responded with a shrug. 

"Got it. We were headed out, but if you think... yeah, okay. Hey, good guess! You know where it is, then. Yeah." The redhead snapped the phone shut, and the group resumed their descent. "That was Reeve. Security's released him, so he's stepping in." 

"Will he need protection?" 

"Avalanche'd leave him alone, he blew his cover with them. Besides, they're going after Sephiroth." 

"It's always good to have a goal, I guess," Elena said dryly. 

"It might do some good," Rude suggested. "Saw him up north when everything went to hell." 

"You think he had something to do with it?" she asked. 

"Seemed connected." 

"Hell, I would if they weren't. Anything'd be better than hanging around waiting for the world to end." Reno rubbed his face, raked his fingers through his hair. "This is confidential, but Reeve's working on evacuation plans. If you have friends or family in here, you might call them, tell them to get out early, but you have to swear 'em to secrecy. He don't want to start a panic." 

Elena stopped dead, made some inarticulate noise of protest, and both men halted to look at her. A moment's silence passed before she found the words. "How can he say that? How can you just... choose the people that are important enough to save or not?" 

"It's not certain death, it's just giving some a head start," Reno began, but her face had twisted with emotion and he broke off. "Shit, 'Lena, don't cry." 

"I'm not crying! I'm pissed off! I can't do that, I can't just leave people here to die in all this! Knowing that I'm doing it! How can he lay a secret like that on us?" Her face was red, and there were tears in her eyes, but neither man was about to contradict her. "How can he! And you! You didn't have to tell me that! Everyone I went to school with still lives on the plate, everyone from my neighborhood, every... He had no right!" she insisted, almost in a shout, and for a moment she stood, fists clenched and shaking with anger. "Fuck him!" she yelled, turning and driving her fist into a nearby girder with all the force she possessed. The two men traded impressed looks as she shook out her hand, biting her lip against the pain. 

"You're a bad influence on her, Reno," the bald Turk said under his breath. "She didn't used to throw screaming, cursing fits." 

"So are you. I may swear, but I'm not the one punches walls." Raising his voice, he added, "Elena, come here, okay?" 

With a heroic effort not to cradle her hand against her body, the tiny blonde descended another tier of garbage to reach them. Reno gripped her by the shoulders. "'Lena. Listen. I got a lot of friends and family in there too. You just gotta accept that you can only do so much. Trust Reeve, okay?" 

"Why should I?" she demanded, her voice choked. "What's he ever done? So he planned Midgar! Look at the shape it's in!" 

"Could've been worse. Look at Junon," Rude said helpfully. 

"Yeah, but if there was anyone in Corporate who cared it was him," Reno said, disregarding his partner's contribution. "He's gonna do what he can, but if we give the alarm early we'll just f— mess it up for him." 

"What if our families don't keep the secret?" 

"They have to." 

*****

On the edge of town, they found a bar, and as one, they all ordered vodka. Rude downed his and immediately walked over to the bar. Elena prodded at her untouched shot glass with a fingertip as she made her call on the shared cell phone. 

"Hi Mom. It's me." There was a long pause, and a faint smile flitted over her features. "No, no, I'm fine. I mean, sort of stunned about it all, but, you know, fine. And unemployed, I guess. Sort of." There was another pause, then, "Well, actually, that's sort of what I was calling about. I think it might be a good idea if you did leave." A look of frustration, and she ran her hand through her short hair. "No, Mom. Just pack up some clothes and the most portable valuable things you have and get in the car. And the dogs, yes, you can take the dogs— Mom? Mom. Mom, c'mon." Finally, "Mom, can I talk to Dad?" 

A moment's pause. Rude returned, and after a hurried, quiet exchange with Reno, left again. She tried not to wonder what that was about. "Hi Daddy. You sort of know what we were talking about, right?" She ran her finger around the rim of her glass as she listened. "You mean the Weapon? It's not that, Daddy. It's Meteor. Some of the scientists think it'll hit Midgar first." Reno winced and gestured at her to lower her voice. Rude frowned at her as he sank into his seat. She ignored them both, lowering her head as tears sprang to her eyes. "I don't know. I hope so. It can't hurt to try, can it?" A short pause. "Listen, Daddy, don't tell anyone what you're doing, all right? Outside the family, I mean. Don't... don't cause a panic. Just leave really quietly." Pause. "I love you too, Daddy. Tell Mom and Matt I love them, too. Call me when you get to Uncle Joe's house, okay? Yeah, this number's fine. Okay. Bye." 

She closed the phone gently, deposited it in the middle of the table, and then downed the contents of the shot glass. She was too busy coughing to notice her colleagues eyeing her with concern. 

"Where's your Uncle Joe?" Rude asked quietly, as the scrawny redhead claimed the phone, moving over to a deserted corner before he started punching in numbers. 

"Down south, nearly to the marshes. He has a farm near Amara." 

"Really far south, then." 

"Oh, I think your family'll be okay, Rude. I mean, we're banking on Kalm, and they're further than that." She was choosing her words with care, not for fear of upsetting him, but just because her tongue was growing numb. 

"Yeah," he said softly. As one, they both turned to look at Reno, who was almost huddled, shoulders tense, speaking vehemently but too low to be heard. Occasionally he'd make an aborted gesture with his free hand or pace a few steps. "Maybe Avalanche is right. Maybe they'll kill Sephiroth and it'll do some good," he added. 

"It'd be nice. I just don't see how it can help. I mean, even if he _did_ cause it, it's still _there_. It won't just go away, will it?" 

"Guess not. Just hate to give up hope." 

"I'm not," she said with false bravado. "I'm holding out hope that we won't die when it hits." The vodka, she reflected, worked a bit like insulation, protecting her from the feeling that was twisting her gut; fear wasn't quite the right word. Dread, maybe. She was still aware of its presence, but at a distance, as though she weren't paying full attention while someone told her of it. 

"Okay, that's my folks taken care of. Assuming Ma _listens_," he added, disgusted. "Did what I could, anyway. Ready to go?" 

"How? We don't have anything to travel in, half the trains have stopped running—" 

"See that car outside? Argued the bartender down to half his asking price," the bald Turk informed them both with a touch of pride. 

"Driving drunk is _bad_, Rude," she informed him earnestly. 

"Elena, I'm three times your size. _I'm_ not drunk." 

"Whoa," she mumbled as she stood up. 

"At least some things never change," Reno said, almost fondly, supporting her by the elbow as they walked out to the car. 

*****

Rude drove. The roads were almost empty. "I'd expected refugees," Elena noted from the backseat. 

"No one knows if there's anywhere to run," Reno said, uncharacteristically serious. "Including us." 

"I'd rather just be doing something, though. Not just sitting around, watching TV on that endless loop of 'Threat From the Skies!' and so-called experts bullshitting about when it'll hit and what to expect. They've started with computer simulations, did you see? I guess after today they'll take a break for some news about what happened to the President and all." 

Rude shifted uncomfortably in his seat, a barely perceptible motion. Reno sympathized wholeheartedly. Rufus had been – not a friend, exactly, but a fixture. As a boy he had been fascinated with the group; when he got older he had tried, in his way, to befriend them. He'd learned to shoot from the same man who'd taught Tseng, and had formed with his guards a camaraderie that his father had never even faked. To Elena, still a rookie, he was just a distant figure. Rude had once seen him laugh, and had reported this to the others as the news that it was. 

Reno broke the awkward silence. "Hey. 'Lena. You want to go back to your family? I mean, we're goin' someplace we have memories, but it's not like you have any reason to go there. If, uh, I mean, you might want to just spend time with them." 

"I'm a Turk too, Reno," she insisted, resting her head on the cool of the glass. "But if you want to get rid of me, just say so." 

"No, no, nothin' like that. Just didn't want you to feel obligated," he muttered, abashed, turning back to face forward. 

"Just as well. We just passed the last exit for a while," Rude said. Elena closed her eyes. 

*****

The trip to Kalm was nearly eight hours, even driving as fast as safety would allow. Elena had dozed off, occasionally shifting fitfully in her sleep. Rude suspected that Reno had slept as well, though some weird pride would never allow the older Turk to admit anything of the sort. He had, however, straightened up in his seat and stretched discreetly, when they stopped for fuel three hours along. 

The car was mako-powered, and Rude felt a tinge of guilt while he stood at the pump even though he'd always written off the anti-Shinra propaganda as superstition. The idea of the planet being alive was a fairy tale. He didn't write off all spirituality, but that particular element always struck him as singularly unbelievable. But if it was true, if mako really were the souls and knowledge of the dead, well, they'd better refit all the cars for gasoline pretty soon unless the knowledge of the Ancients forbade that too. He didn't top off the tank when he was done. 

Reno had purchased soft drinks and potato chips inside. He handed Rude his preferred beverage, opened his own bottle and settled back in. Neither felt any need to speak. 

Elena, as always, did. When she awakened, she asked first about the time, then about food, and then requested that they turn on the radio. Every station was broadcasting news. After the blast from Midgar – they'd seen it on their way out – the strange darkness in the north had vanished, and the airship _Highwind_ had been seen approaching the spot. "That's Avalanche," Reno said, seeming to realize the pointlessness of the comment even as he spoke. The Gold Saucer had evacuated and closed. City leaders in Kalm were asking citizens not to panic. Gridlock outside Junon as the inhabitants tried to flee. "Upper Junon, they mean. Below, there's almost no cars," Rude noted. Scientists were now predicting an impact in the ocean. Elena sputtered with outrage until the others soothed her with reminders of the media's penchant for lying and the unreliability of science under the circumstances. Then came a message from Reeve, urging the citizens to remain calm and officially announcing the evacuation plan; details about the stages in which cars would be allowed to leave, instructions that residents in certain areas take shelter beneath the plate, directions regarding shelters. 

"Under the plate?" Elena asked, once it became clear they'd heard the gist of the plan. 

"Nice word for the slums," Reno explained. 

"I know that, but why? That's like hiding under a table." 

"Exactly. I'm from tornado country. Always seemed pointless, but that's what you do," Rude said. 

"This isn't exactly a tornado!" 

Reeve's message began again, and halfway through the third repetition Reno snapped off the radio. 

*****

The bar was at the edge of town, surrounded by other boarded-up and rundown buildings. The trio emerged from the car, stretching stiff joints and, except for Rude, blinking against the sunlight. "Feels weird not to have any luggage to go get," Elena said timidly. 

"Take you shopping if you want," Rude offered, quietly. "Plenty of money between us, no reason to save it." 

"But around here?" She cast a doubtful eye at the surroundings. 

"We'll take you someplace," Reno offered absently, doing something to the lock. Elena didn't think it looked like he had a key. She didn't ask. 

"Maretti's," she read off the sign. "Why are we going here, anyway? Kalm has other bars..." 

"It's not just a bar! More like a lounge. Old Turk headquarters. I told you, we got memories here. Especially me. Besides, it's Shinra-owned, so it's not like we're looting something we're not entitled to, and there's a bedroom upstairs." 

"I guess that helps," she agreed vaguely. Rude steered her indoors. "This isn't a normal bar, is it?" she asked, flinging herself down on a couch. Reno just shook his head, venturing over to investigate the bathroom. Rude stood in the middle of the room, hands in his pockets, head down. Reno emerged from the restroom, wiping his hands dry on his pants. 

He then inspected the bar, or pretended to, watching his partner carefully. "Rude? You okay, man?" 

"I'm trying to remember the last time I slept." 

"Go upstairs. We'll take care of things here." 

"Buy food. Not just alcohol." 

"I know, I know. Elena? You think you're ready to go?" 

"I guess so," she said, with no real enthusiasm. 

*****

When they returned, with a single bag of groceries – a rush of survivalism had left the stores almost bare – and a bag of equal size from an impressive liquor store, he was nowhere to be found. Reno went upstairs to check on him, and found him sprawled on his back on the bare mattress of one of the beds. He'd removed his shoes, but not his sunglasses or his suit jacket. On inspection of the linen closet, he found that the sheets were musty but intact, and he made up one of the spare beds before returning downstairs. 

Elena was standing by the refrigerator, staring vacantly at her hand on the handle. "Elena?" he asked, quietly. 

"Reno, the world's ending," she whispered, tears starting in her eyes and cracking her voice. "_Everything's_ ending." 

"Hey, hey... they don't know for sure yet..." he soothed, wrapping his arms around her. 

"They can make a pretty good guess!" she retorted, muffled by his shoulder. 

"Elena, did you get into the booze already?" 

"Not yet." 

"Maybe you should. Or take a nap. Seriously, it doesn't do any good to freak out ahead of time." 

"I don't see how I can help it!" 

"Turk control, remember, Elena? Save the freaking out for later. Or never, ideally." 

"It'll be never. There won't even be a later," she insisted, but quietly. The tears were leaking unheeded from her eyes, but she didn't argue or resist as he got her settled on the couch. When he turned on the TV (and silently blessed it for still working) she stared vacantly at the screen. He considered putting away the groceries, but he gave up that idea and simply joined her on the couch. The television was oddly soothing. 


	2. Waiting

A/N: MBC is Midgar Broadcasting Company, JBC is Junon, and SBS is Shinra Broadcasting System. Or whatever the S stands for in CBS. 

Chapter Two

  


When Rude came downstairs, Elena was curled at one end of the couch, and Reno slumped at the other with a bag of chips next to him on the couch. Rude suspected they were both asleep, but Reno opened his eyes. "Better?" he asked, almost as terse as his friend. 

"Guess so. They have anything new on TV?" Rude began emptying the grocery bags, and Reno thought he saw disapproval over the quantity of potato chips. 

"That was all they had. Everyone's buying food. There's nothing new... oh, there's this Avalanche special, guess you haven't seen that." 

"You guys shut up," Elena grumbled drowsily. 

"'Lena, there's beds if you want quiet." 

"Just leave me alone," she said, and pulled a throw pillow over her head. Reno rattled the bag of chips, and she tossed the pillow at him, stood, and stomped upstairs. 

"So she's doing okay," Rude observed. 

"Yeah, guess so." 

"Avalanche special?" 

"Yeah. They're being real careful not to say anything one way or another about mako politics. You just missed the Tifa part. They're on Strife now, what a thrill, huh?" 

The big man just grunted, opened the refrigerator. "Hey, you got milk." 

"Yeah, and cornflakes. So you don't have to live entirely off salt." 

"They sold out of food, but the liquor stores are still fine?" he said skeptically. 

"Surprised me too, but maybe it's taking people a while to realize they don't want to face this sober." 

"Did you actually get her clothes?" 

"She got some shirt to sleep in. Socks and panties and shit. I guess she's happy. Should have gone to get underwear for us too, but I didn't think of it, and besides, I don't know you _that_ well." 

"Doesn't much matter. It won't be too long anyway." 

"Okay, here's Tifa again." 

"Christ, Reno, turn that off!" 

"What? I thought you were hot for her." 

He turned away. "Don't need to see her in the gas chamber." Again. He'd gone to his favorite bar in Junon, where no one bothered him if he wanted to drink alone, only to see the very fact he was trying to escape, live on TV. It wasn't just his feelings for her at work. He'd felt some regret for the Ancient, once he'd learned of her fate, and would probably have had similar pangs for any of the others; he'd been tracking them so long he felt he knew them. That the dark-haired girl had to go first was just an added twist of the knife. He hadn't been able to watch as she struggled, had almost felt his reserve crack as he requested they turn off the TV. The one or two other patrons had ignored him. Then someone had gasped "Holy shit, she's out," and he'd looked up, stunned and disbelieving, as she unlocked the cuff on her left wrist. 

"Didn't you see it the first time? Pretty damn good escape artist." 

He only grunted in reply. 

*****

It was easy, with the shutters closed and the TV never turned off, to forget about time. To just sit, dozing occasionally, silently watching the news anchors grow steadily more pale and disheveled, to comment only on the varying graphics. Reno preferred the flashy "Planet Under Attack" graphic MBC used, while Rude and Elena voted in favor of the more subdued "World in Crisis" logo that both SBS and JBC adopted. They carried the day; MBC eventually adopted it as well. 

The monotony was broken, nearly twelve hours after their arrival at the lounge, when Julian Mayhew of MBC faltered during his stentorian warning that no other information was available regarding Avalanche's plans. "Whatever their goal in... in..." he trailed off, staring directly at the camera with a fixed, frightened expression on his face, and then his bland, even features crumpled and he broke down in tears on camera. "Whoa," Reno muttered, the only sound as they all watched, fascinated. Mayhew's co-anchor, Barbara Jenkins, stared at him with naked panic on her heavily made-up face for a moment, before she turned to the camera with a brittle smile and said "Let's go now to our correspondent in the North, Kimberly?" 

Kimberly turned out to be a parka-clad, startled-looking redhead, evidently not expecting to be on the air so soon, and the group sat through her segment – all old information, delivered in an uncertain stammer and indicating that while Avalanche supporters plainly believed they had some remedy to Meteor, there was no evidence to support these claims – only in hopes of a return to the anchors. Sadly, Mayhew did not appear in front of the camera again, even when they returned to Jenkins. "Bet he's in a straitjacket right now," Reno commented. 

"I don't remember that girl being their correspondent in the north before," Elena said, as if personally affronted by the change. "It used to be some guy with a mustache." 

"Maybe he had a breakdown too," Rude suggested. 

They were still discussing this possibility, in desultory fashion, when the phone rang again, startling them all. "Turks, Rude here," the tall man answered, having recovered first and located it; Reno had left it on the bar. He listened for a long moment. "Got it. See you." He closed the phone, set it down, and rubbed his face wearily. "Reeve's on his way here, about two hours out of town." 

"How's Avalanche doing?" Reno asked. 

"Maybe four hours away from... it. Sephiroth or whatever." 

"How can they tell?" Elena asked. 

"Cait has some pretty sophisticated instruments, Elena," Reno assured her. 

"Like....?" She recognized the lofty tone he'd taken, which he usually used to conceal his own ignorance. 

"Like I don't remember the names of 'em." 

"Then how do you know they can measure depth?" 

Rude left them to bicker, walking heavily upstairs to sleep again. 

*****

He hadn't slept well, however, and he was awake and firmly installed on the couch once more by the time Reeve arrived. Elena had finally stumbled upstairs; Reno sprawled at the other end of the couch, seemingly half asleep. He stood as the door opened, reaching inside his jacket for the gun. 

Reeve had a day's growth of stubble around his goatee, his suit was wrinkled, his tie loosened and askew, and his eyes were red, likelier from lack of sleep than from tears. Rude smoothed his own rumpled suit and inclined his head. "Sir." 

The words roused Reno, who stood, nodded to the executive, and did something that caused his back to make obscene popping noises though he'd deny it was stretching. "You bring your stuff?" he asked. 

Reeve held up one suitcase. "All Cait's equipment is out in the trunk. Where should I set up?" 

"Elena's upstairs. Guess we should've cleared out the office," Rude said. "Reno, you get that. I'll bring in the equipment." 

While Reno did his best, which mostly involved transporting everything into a tall metal supply cabinet and when it filled stacking things near it, the process of cleaning out the office and setting up the electronics took a few hours, and roused the two Turks out of the near-stupor they'd been living in since arriving in Kalm. It seemed to bring Reeve to life, too – he joked with both of them, turned explanations of what plugged in where into reminiscence about creating the first Cait Sith, and generally behaved like someone who wasn't waiting for the world to end. 

At some point Elena awakened. They could hear her rummaging around in the kitchen, and then she appeared, in shirtsleeves and with her tie loosened and dangling, holding her coffee in both hands. She leaned in the doorway, her back against the lintel, and watched them for a moment until Reeve surfaced and beamed at her. "They _said_ you were here," he said happily. "I was starting to doubt them." 

"No, I'm here," she said, smiling blearily back at him, and she brought the coffee to her lips, then thought better of it. "You guys need any help?" 

Reeve considered. "Go ahead and finish your coffee." 

"That's gonna take a while," she informed him, and it did – she barely even touched it for half an hour, then gulped it down as they were setting up the first of the monitors, set the empty mug aside, and joined them. "Isn't there kind of a rush?" she asked. 

"They're stopping for the night before they go in. Gives me time to get Cait ready." 

"Um, excuse me?" Reno said, watching as Elena industriously began undoing much of what he'd accomplished. 

"You had those all crossed, Reno. Reeve, you didn't catch that, so maybe you should get some sleep too." 

"No, I just wasn't paying attention. I have my second wind." When she raised her head to look at him, he repeated, defensively, "I do!" 

"Okay," she and Rude both agreed mildly. "There's coffee on in the kitchen," she added. Reno was the one to extricate himself from the jumble of boxes around his feet and the tangle of wires at waist height and head out of the room. "So where are they right now?" she asked. 

"Near the bottom of the crater," he said. "They stopped for the night about three or four hours ago. I've had them on audio only while I was in the car – Cait's on autopilot." The monitors flickered to black-and-white life. One showed rocks, cave wall, and an eerie glow near the bottom of the screen. The other two, from slightly varying angles, displayed a grouping of three tents, a small fire at a central point between the three, scattered luggage, and on one monitor, a large, white plush arm. 

"Um," Elena said. 

"The mog just waves his arms around randomly when he's on standby. I could never figure out how to eliminate that," Reeve explained. The arm receded from view. 

"So one of those is the mog's eyes and one is the cat's?" 

Reeve nodded. "The other one's in the mog's back," he said, as Reno returned with two mugs of coffee. 

Reeve reached out immediately, and Reno handed him one of the mugs. "Black," he added, and the executive just nodded again, took a cautious drink. 

"What I want to know is why they're called mogs," Rude said. 

"Elena, did you make this?" Reeve asked. 

"'Sokay, I needed some hair on my chest," Reno said. 

"I like my coffee strong! Rude, it was a copyright thing." 

"No one's going to fault you on weak coffee, Elena," Reeve said. "Yeah, it was a copyright case. Have you ever seen those old Mocha the Moogle cartoons?" 

"Heard of 'em. So what's a moogle?" 

"Just a nonsense word. You know how kids' things are. So this was back when Shinra was diversifying – they bought a fast-food chain, and created Mogs as as mascot. No little pompoms on top of the head, but that's really about the only difference. They won the lawsuit, though. Probably _shouldn't_ have, but they did." He took another drink of the coffee. "No need for a nap now," he added. 

"Oh, shut up," Elena said. 

*****

They'd turned the cluttered office into their new headquarters in place of the couch. Rude ate his cereal standing up there, Elena let three mugs of coffee grow cool before she drank them and left brown rings on the monitor tops. Reno lounged in the spare desk chair and left crumbs of potato chips everywhere. Finally some activity showed on the two monitors, drawing everyone's attention. Tifa, who apparently slept in an oversized tee-shirt and boxer shorts, emerged from her tent, yawned, and stretched. 

"Too bad she don't sleep in the buff, huh?" Reno said, patting Rude's shoulder. Rude shrugged his hand off irritably. 

"So are they getting ready to move?" 

"Not immediately. She's an early riser." They watched her pour water from a canteen into a pot, drop a materia into it. "Heating it for tea," he explained. "Listen, I better get around to being Cait. It feels kind of creepy lurking around watching her when she thinks I'm not." 

There was grumbling, and shuffling, and plenty of hesitation at the door, as he put on his headset and typed in a few commands. Eventually, though, watching him at the computer turned dull, and they dispersed – Rude vanished upstairs, Reno returned to the couch, and Elena wandered, restless. She watched Rude shave his head for a moment, went into the bedroom and stretched out. She'd thought the coffee would keep her awake, but left alone in the quiet she found she didn't want to think any more than she wanted to watch the news or watch Reeve say "Attack!" over and over in Cait's voice. She rolled over onto her side, pulled her knees to her chest. 

"Where's 'Lena?" Reno asked, when Rude rejoined him downstairs later. 

"Asleep. She's sleeping better than the rest of us put together." 

"People do that when they're depressed," Reno said. He'd been hugging a couch cushion, and while he seemed ready to put it aside, he eventually decided against it. "Shit. This is..." Rude sank onto the couch next to him. "I can't believe this is how the world's ending. I figured I'd... you know, you find out you have one day to live, you go find yourself a beautiful woman or drink yourself into a stupor. Maybe do some rioting and looting. Fuck consequences." 

"Still not too late for that," Rude said. 

"Well, yeah, but... shit. This is how my life's gonna end?" The redhead's voice sounded suspiciously thick. Rude didn't look his direction so he wouldn't have to see his old friend wiping his eyes surreptitiously. "Wouldn't have figured it'd be like this. I mean, what the hell did I do with my life?" There was a definite quaver. Rude had never been so fascinated with a television in his life. Nothing could have torn his eyes away. 

"I always kind of wanted to get married, have a family," Rude said to the screen. "Just as well I didn't." 

"Fuck, yeah. Can you imagine watching your kids go through this? It's rough enough just the three of us." 

"Four." 

"Three. Reeve's in denial. Lucky bastard." Silence, except for a muted sound that couldn't possibly have been a sniff, and then, a moment later, the voice Reeve used for Cait Sith, elevated but indistinct. 

"Might be easier with kids," Rude mused. "Have to be strong for 'em, couldn't just fall apart." 

"Like you're falling apart," the redhead scoffed, sounding more like his usual self. 

"Could. Any second now." 

"You do that, we'll all collapse," Reno said. After a moment, he turned to face his partner, puffy eyes and all. "We need you, you big bald freak." 

There was a ghost of a smile on the tall man's face. "Thanks." 


	3. Meteor

A/N: I always intended this to have a third chapter, but for some reason it took me a year to write it.

Chapter Three

When Elena awakened again, she headed to the bathroom and found Rude at the sink, splashing his face with water. She watched him, admiring his ability to pull that off without soaking his collar and cuffs, and took his place at the sink while he dried his face.

"Anything change while I was out?" she asked him, through the other towel.

He reached around her to stuff his back onto the rack. "Not much. Barb Jenkins off MBC announced she was going to go be with her family and the rest of us should do that too. Then she walked out while the camera was still on her desk."

"Damn! I miss all the good stuff. You should have gotten me up for that."

"Sorry. She didn't give much warning."

"I was just kidding." She folded her damp towel, looked up at him. "Rude? How are you doing?"

He opened his mouth, closed it again. "...fine," he said, finally. She watched him steadily. "That's it," he said. "What else can you do? I can't sleep. Panicking or getting upset..." He shrugged again. "Wouldn't do any good."

"I just... I can't not face that we're going to die," she said, but she seemed calm about it. "How do you keep it together?"

".......dunno."

"I really kind of hope Avalanche is right. Even if it's true we've been burning our dead grandmas for fuel—"

"Okay, that's _morbid._"

"All right, yeah, that's the _point._ Even if it's true, at least that means we know what happens to us when we die. Reeve was telling me about it, back during the Cait project. It's like... I guess it's like heaven, your soul is still your soul, it's just... with others." She hesitated, seeming embarrassed. "Like, cosmic oneness and all that. I mean, that's not how he said it, but... it makes it sound nice, at least. And we know it exists, so it could be like they say... "

"...can't help hoping we won't know for sure." Off her questioning look, he added, "Because we'll live."

"Yeah..." she said, softly. "I'm sorry, Rude. I don't think keeping it all inside is healthy, but it might be for you."

"Doesn't feel unhealthy," he said. "Don't worry about it, 'Lena."

"Yeah, there's plenty of other stuff to worry about."

"Why exactly did we buy you pajamas if you're just gonna sleep in your clothes?" Reno demanded as she came downstairs.

"Why do you care?"

"Well, you're gettin' pretty ripe, no offense."

"Shut _up,_ Reno," she snapped. "Like you've got any room to talk anyway."

"Some things never change," Rude said, behind her.

"What, Reno's stench?"

"You two arguing," he said.

"That's not an argument," she pointed out. "An argument is like..." While she was still searching for the words, they were interrupted by a shout from Reeve's office. Elena and Reno both tore for the door, though Reno got there first, and Rude arrived just a second after Elena. The two of them were blocking the door, but he could look over Elena's head easily.

"Here they come!" Reeve shouted, in the slightly squeaky twang he used for Cait Sith, and then he began chanting rapidly in tones too low to hear. Elena took a step forward, followed a moment later by the others. Then, a moment after that, another step. Reeve seemed entirely unphased as they oozed up around him, didn't show any response when his chair was surrounded by a group of intent Turks, all staring at the bank of small black-and-white monitors in front of him. They watched as the fight ended, didn't even notice when he flicked a switch.

"Yes?" he asked. Secretly, he filed away the knowledge that Reno jumped for future smugness.

"We, uh, we were just curious," Elena said, tucking an errant strand of hair behind her ear and trying to look unstartled. "Uh, how's it going?"

"Good, everything's good," he said, but he was watching the screen with one eye. "Not over yet, though."

"Can they hear us?" she asked.

"I have it muted."

"Oh."

On the screen, Barret turned and shouted something at Cait Sith, and Reeve hit the switch, squeaked "Ready when you are!" into his headset. They watched, transfixed, as the fight carried on – Cait Sith casting spells, the big Corellian firing almost continuously, the young ninja darting forward to the enemies and then back behind the moogle, moving as effortlessly as if they weren't fighting for their lives. Reno caught a glimpse, on one of the monitors, of Cid and Vincent standing back to back, the old Turk firing, the pilot laying about him with a spear.

"Look over there," Elena said, reaching up to point and then drawing her hand back, not wanting to block Reeve's view. She indicated the monitors to their right with her head, where they could all see Cloud, Tifa, and Red XIII leaping down into the glow, see the faint shapes of another fight there.

"Where they going?" Reno asked. Rude shrugged.

"They're—" Reeve dropped back into his own voice. "They're going after Sephiroth."

"On your left," Rude said. Reeve scanned the monitors.

"Other left, Rude," he corrected, then flicked the switch back. "Yuffie, catch!" he shouted, in Cait Sith's voice.

"Wish we could see what they're doing," Elena said in a half-whisper. "The group going after Sephiroth."

"Would it do us any good?" Rude asked, never taking his eyes off the screens. "Can't help them from here."

"Yeah, but I'd like to know."

"I'd like to know for sure it'd do any good if they _do_ beat him," Reno said.

After about five minutes had passed with no sign of the monsters letting up, Reno left the room, returning with a bottle of bourbon and a pot of coffee. Elena found an empty mug she thought had been hers earlier, held it out for a refill of the coffee, and then, after a moment's consideration, tipped some bourbon into it too. She located another mug she thought had been Reeve's, set her own aside to fill it with coffee, and set it within his reach on top of one of the screens. Rude filled another coffee mug with bourbon, leaving the rest of the bottle to Reno. They set the coffee pot on a file cabinet and resettled themselves to watch. Finally, Reeve squeaked "Think that's the end of 'em?" at the group there in the crater. The fighting had lasted for something like half an hour.

"I hope so too," he said, after a moment, apparently in response to something said to the robot.

"What?" Reno whispered.

"Gotta be talking about the group down in there," Elena replied, also in a whisper.

"Cid said he hoped they're okay," he added, in his own voice, then he winced. "Yeah, talking to some people back here." A pause. "You remember the Turks." He flipped a switch, turned to them. "Cid and Yuffie say hi, Vincent said nothing, and Barret says he'll kick your scrawny Shinra asses for good after this is all over."

"It's cute, how he's so optimistic," Elena said, and Reeve laughed and reported that in Cait Sith's voice. "And Yuffie says I have a split personality and need medication," he added, in his own voice again.

"Tell her—" Elena began, only to be cut off by an "Uh-oh!" from him, in Cait's voice.

"Really does have a split personality," Rude observed. Reno and Elena were leaning over his chair, looking at something. "What's going on?" he asked, looking over their heads.

"I can't tell, it's all—"

"From what I can tell, the structure's collapsing," Reeve said, his voice sounding strained. "Nothing personal, guys, but I may need to just concentrate here."

"Fair enough," Reno said, grabbing his half-empty bottle from a filing cabinet and ushering Elena out with an arm around her waist. She looked over her shoulder, trying to get a last glimpse of the screen, until Rude shut the office door behind them.

"I wish I knew what was going on," she said.

"I bet Reeve wishes that too," Reno said. "You saw it, 'Lena, everything was all shaken up. I bet none of 'em really know what's going on, even the ones there in the flesh."

"Yeah, but—"

"We're not losin'!" Reeve yelled as Cait Sith from the office. His voice dropped down to more normal levels, a murmur audible only as noise through the door. Reno turned back toward the door, too, all of them quiet so as to listen. "We can still protect what's most important!" he was saying, and voice was his own now.

"He's awful at staying in character," Elena said, with a sad half-laugh. "We're lucky he fooled them as long as he did."

"Yeah, no— Rude?" The tall man had just brushed past them both, and now he stood by the window, hands in his jacket pockets, balled up into fists.

"Look," he said. The sky was dark, as if ready for a thunderstorm, and the clouds glowed an angry red. As if transfixed, Elena drifted toward the window after him, followed a moment later by Reno.

"It's coming down soon," he said, his voice hollow. "Real soon." Elena reached up, squeezed his upper arm. He fumbled blindly for her hand, covered it with his and held on so tight it almost hurt. "Guess this is it," he said.

"Not— it's not here yet. It could still hit anywhere," she said.

"Look how bright it is. It's close."

"Rude," she said. "We're gonna be okay."

He stared out the window for what felt like an eternity to both of them. "No," he said. "We're not." They all watched as the clouds parted, as the baleful red eye that had been staring at them for the last few weeks resolved itself into a cancer the size of a city. Elena drew in her breath sharply. Reno muttered a curse and crossed himself, and Rude made a noise Elena hated to characterize as a whimper.

"Rude," Reno said, worriedly. "I told you not to fall apart, right, big guy?" No response. "Right?" he repeated.

"Oh, Rude," Elena breathed, wrapping her arms around him. He sagged, almost staggering her. "Here, let's— let's get away from the window, for starters," she said, bravely, trying to steer him back to the couch.

"It's still _there,_" he said, but he moved away with her, sat down, and folded over into himself, staring through sunglasses at the arms folded on his knees. "It's all over."

"Something that size could look this big and be headed for—"

"The ocean? Tsunami'd take out half the coast. Something that size takes out more than just the one thing it hits."

"That's not—" She wanted to argue, wanted to convince him things were all right, but they'd both know any words of comfort were lies. "It's not over yet. Maybe Sephiroth's controlling it and it'll go away if they kill him."

"Way Reeve was yelling, they have to be fighting him now," Reno said. "I bet they fell right in on him when things got all shaken up." They heard a "Cure, dammit!" from the office. "Way he's still yelling," Reno amended.

"Can we shut off the TV?" Rude asked, very quietly. Reno complied immediately, and no one spoke further.

They passed an hour that way, listening to the strange roar of Meteor, Reeve's shouts and commands, and the wail of sirens in the distance. "Is that it? That's it?" they heard at last – still in Reeve's voice, he'd apparently dropped out of character for good – and then stillness.

"You think they won?" Reno asked, after a moment.

"Must've," Rude replied. "There's somebody for him to ask about it."

Another yell, through the door, and a panicked "What's goin' on?" Elena started to get up, but Reno grabbed her wrist. "I know," he said, when she turned to glare at him. "But you heard him, 'Lena. He can't see what's going on – you're not gonna learn anything and none of us can help him."

"Yeah, but—"

"Is that them?" they heard – he was using Cait Sith's voice again – and then a long pause. "Looks like they're okay!" they heard then. Elena tugged free of Reno and went to the door, and he followed after a moment. Rude stayed where he was.

In the office, Reeve was rubbing his face, slouched in the chair. When the door opened, letting light into the room, he flicked the mute switch and turned toward them. "Cloud and Tifa got separated from us, but they're okay. The place is collapsing, we're not sure about—" he broke off, turning back to the monitors and turning the sound back on.

"What is that?" Elena asked.

"The airship? Must be on autopilot, I guess."

"Or his crew came in for them."

Reeve launched into a flurry of activity, pulling out wires and plugging them into something else. "That what you were wearing in the car?" Reno asked.

"Yeah, I want to see this for myself," he said. "The Highwind's out of control, I can't make out what's going on right now." They made way for him, and he rushed through the room, to the front window. Rude finally raised his head to watch him pass, and the other two trailed after him to the window. A moment later, Rude joined them.

On a normal day, Midgar would be a faint outline on the horizon, the skyline obscured by a haze of pollution that years of Mako power hadn't cleared. On a clear day, the Shinra tower would be plainly visible. Today, they could all see it in silhouette against the baleful red light of Meteor. They watched as the first finger of red touched down on the city, then another, and Elena had slipped out between them and run out the door, slamming it behind her. Reno followed, running out with her into the unnatural twilight.

"It's two in the afternoon," she said as he caught up to her in the middle of the street. "It's summer. It shouldn't be dark like this."

"The weather was beautiful this morning," he said.

"God, Reno. I don't want to die either."

"You think bein' out here can help with that somehow, 'Lena? Just come back inside."

"No," Reeve said. "Holy's coming."

"Holy?" Reno echoed, turning back to look at the executive. He was smiling. He was wearing the headset. "You know something we don't, Reeve? Because it sure would be nice of you to share."

Rude stood in the doorway. Reeve walked out into the middle of the street, searched the sky for the airship. "Holy," he said. "The ultimate white magic, the counter to Meteor – it's supposed to destroy anything that could harm the planet. Aerith was praying for it before she died."

"That helps?" Reno said, his tone challenging.

"Once her soul rejoins the Lifestream—" he broke off. A handful of funnel clouds had touched down on the city now. "Soon," he said. "It has to be soon."

"I grew up there," Elena said softly. "That's our city."

"Mine too," Reno said. "Slums or not. It's my city, it's where I was born and where I— I shoulda stayed."

"They can— I'm going back to the monitors," Reeve said, turning and heading back indoors. Rude rejoined his teammates in the middle of the street.

"Holy," she said. "I never thought I was _afraid_ to die, but..."

"....I'm not afraid," Rude said. "I just don't want to die."

"Yeah." She pressed her fist against her mouth. "I'm glad I never had kids," she said. "And I'm glad I'm with you guys. I just... sort of wish I was with my parents, too."

"Me too," Reno said, in a very small voice, and she turned toward him and gasped. Reno turned as well, and they all watched a streak of white miles wide, coming from the north.

"That must be it," she said. "It has to be." They watched in silence as it hit Meteor and the city, wiping out the funnel clouds.

"Reeve had the right idea," Reno said. "Maybe they can tell what's happening from the air."

"Is it doing any good?" Elena asked, expecting no answer.

"Doesn't look like it," Rude said.

"It looks like it's... is it making things worse?" she said, obviously hoping one of them would disagree. It looked like it'd dispersed, or been absorbed into the red miasma, which had spread rather than dying down.

"Maybe Meteor's too strong."

Reno, searching the sky for the airship, noticed one lighted window back in Kalm proper – then another, more and more. People were opening up their shutters, looking out. He thought he heard a familiar voice, singing some wordless song, a woman's voice – the Ancient?

"...did you hear something?" Rude asked. Elena was looking around, as if for the source of some noise.

"What..." she began, her voice trailing off. Streaks of green light were winding through the darkness, overhead and in the distance. A crack had opened up in the earth near them, and more of the green light was emerging. Mako. "What's it _doing?_"

"I've never seen it move like that," Reno said. "It's not supposed to move on its own. I mean, it's liquid." One tendril or stream or rivulet was coming towards them. "Uh, 'Lena, maybe we should move?" But he didn't, and neither did his partner or the rookie, as it washed over them all. He remembered his grandmother's voice, suddenly, even though it had been years since he'd thought of it. She'd died when he was just a kid. He remembered the first man he'd ever killed, a guy he'd stabbed in a fight. Why would he remember that? Why did he remember the guy's voice, and how did he know that's whose voice it was? He heard a babble of voices, like being in the middle of a noisy room, but he could hear this one distinctly, talking about – a ball game, that's what that fight was about. As if he'd known the guy, he knew the man had two kids. He wasn't married to either of the mothers but he gave them money when he had any, saw the kids all the time. How did he know that? Why was he on his knees in the street?

"No, stop it! I had to, stop it!" That was his voice, wasn't it? It could have been someone else's. He looked up, saw that Elena had her arms wrapped around herself like someone had punched her in the stomach, and she wasn't crying but her breath came out in sobs. Reno was crying. When was the last time he'd cried? Rude was kneeling, too, staring at his hands. Reno remembered Sector 7, before the plate dropped, remembered faces – individual faces. All those people who should be alive but weren't. He'd doubled over until his head touched cobblestone. The first guy he'd killed for Shinra, a couple security guards, the old man he shot when he held up a convenience store, people he'd forgotten about until now.

Someone was touching him. Shaking his shoulder. He looked up, blinked hazily through the green. He kept hearing the Ancient's voice, but this was Elena. He grabbed her hand, pushed himself into a sitting position, then held onto her hand with both of his as if his life depended on their contact. He thought it really might. She tugged on his arm, trying to pull him along what would have been a step or two if they weren't crawling. He went with her, afraid to let go, until she was near enough to touch Rude's hand.

"'Lena," the big man rasped, and Reno thought he might cry again, just out of relief after hearing a living person's voice. A voice that wasn't telling him the date he killed it, or asking about its family, a voice that wasn't the memory of somebody begging for its life.

"Same thing's happening to you guys," she said, barely above a whisper. "Right?"

"That's why you're okay. Don't have the body count we do," Reno said.

"It's enough," she said. "God, it's too many. I'm not okay."

"I don't see how I can _know_ all this!" he half-wailed. Rude grabbed his shoulder, and Elena had her arms around both of them.

"It has to be over soon, right?" Elena said. "It looks like it's nearly done."

"Once we can move, let's get out of this," Reno said. "Please."

The stream was past them now, and somehow the three of them lurched to the side of the road, huddled against the wall. "I kept seeing them as I killed them," Rude said. "Or feeling. You know how many men I've killed with my bare hands?"

"I used to wish you'd talk more, Rude, but I didn't want anything like this to happen."

"I saw them, I knew about their lives, their families..." Reno said. "I don't know _how._ I didn't know any of that before."

"Same for me," Rude said.

"Me too," Elena added.

"Is that what they meant? When they talk about the Lifestream, is that what they mean?"

"Maybe that's hell," Rude said. "Someone ran into that, and that's how they came up with the idea of hell."

"No wonder Sephiroth went crazy, if that's what a Mako treatment's like," Reno said. People always made stupid jokes at funerals.

"They knock them out," Elena said. "The SOLDIER candidates."

"It's like having a song stuck in your head," Reno continued, as if he hadn't heard her. "I keep hearing the voices. Do you think it'll be like that forever?"

"It's not the same as they way it was before," Elena said.

"Is that what'll happen when we die?" Rude asked, then "...shit. Forget I said that."

"Maybe if we're practically saints for the rest of our lives?" Elena offered.

"The next ten minutes or so," Reno observed. "I think that's do-able."

"Oh, good, something to look forward to for however long I have left, thanks, Reno."

"Not now," Rude said.

"We died as we lived— bickering." The words were brave, but her voice shook.

"No one's dying," Rude said. "We came here so we'd be safe. We're not dying."

"I'm never killing anyone again, that's for damn sure," Reno said. "Even if I live long enough to get the chance."

"Reno..."

"I'm sorry, 'Lena. Even facing certain death, I can't stop being a smartass."

"And I can't stop fighting with you. Or noticing my leg hurts, or really wanting a drink of water." She tried to smile, but it didn't seem to be working.

"I'd take something stronger," Rude said.

"I guess it's normal," she said, then, "Oh, _God,_" as a stream of the green fluid arced towards them, but while Reno felt another rush of guilt as it washed over him, this time the other voices were just background behind the woman's voice, the one he thought he'd heard before, the one he thought was probably Aerith Gainsborough. And then he heard children laughing. When it passed, his heart was beating hard. The angry voices had faded, though he knew that he'd always carry the faces with him.

"Can you believe Strife survived that?" he asked, just to say something, anything, something that wouldn't make Elena make that face again. Maybe she'd even smile. He wouldn't mind seeing that before they died.

"He's tougher than he looks," Rude said, and Elena started laughing. Reno smiled and closed his eyes, knowing full well the tears were leaking out of them again. So much for the Turk self-control. So much for looking cool in front of the rookie. Amazing what stops seeming important when you're facing death and eternal suffering. "Look up there," Rude said, and with a heroic effort, Reno opened his eyes again and lifted his head. The Lifestream was gathering around Meteor. "Think it's any smaller?"

They watched it in silence. "Could be," Reno agreed at last. "Those red clouds are gone, anyway, and the twisters."

"It can't do much without them, can it?" Elena asked. "I mean, it's just kind of floating there now."

"It could hit," Rude pointed out. She looked at him. "Elena, you know if you ask questions we answer."

"You don't _have_ to," she pointed out. Reno closed his eyes again, resting his head on her shoulder. He wasn't much for hugging people. Or shaking their hands, for that matter. But disentangling himself, right now, completely failed to appeal. "Reno, you don't know me that well," she pointed out.

"Huh?" He lifted his head, then grunted as Elena, suddenly, decided to use his shoulder to help herself stand up. From the sound of things, she'd done the same to Rude. He noticed that she wasn't really wet, though the Mako had felt like liquid - her hair was damp with sweat, but her clothes were dry, as were his.

"I need a drink," she said, leaning on them both for support. "Before we die, if we're still going to. Who's with me?"

"I am," Reeve said. "And we're not going to die. Are all of you all right?"

In complete defiance of the evidence, all three nodded. "Got a dose of Lifestream," Reno added, by way of explanation. "I'm comfy. 'Lena, bring me something, would you?"

"Yeah _right,_" she retorted, laughing, as Rude stood too, shakily, and finally, protesting, Reno followed suit. The three of them staggered in together, past Reeve, who lingered in the door, watching the horizon, the slow breakdown of Meteor under a gentle onslaught of white and green light.

"Reeve?" Elena called to him finally. "You up for celebrating?"

"Not totally." Not at all, when he thought about the situation in Midgar. But he stepped away from the door and came in to join them. From the look of things, they'd all decided the bar was an excellent means of support until standing felt less daunting. "Maybe a little," he admitted. The human race had survived, Midgar hadn't been entirely leveled, Sephiroth had been defeated... "It's not an unqualified victory."

"Sort of noticed that," Rude said. His voice sounded hoarse.

"Midgar's got to be..." Elena shook her head. "It must be horrible."

"But we're not dead yet," Reno said. "I call that a win."


End file.
